How is it with your soul?

In 12 hours I will have the keys to my condo. I can tell that I'm nervous about this because my stomach has been upset all night and I didn't take anything to make it that way. I'm really scared still about moving and completely stressed out. What if I buy the wrong furniture? What if I just can't handle living on my own? What if I never overcome the grief of leaving my house, dad and mom behind? Because right now, even though I've been working on that for a couple of years now it doesn't seem to be getting any easier right now.

I was asked the other day, "how is it with your soul?" I almost started crying instantly. My soul hurts. It is still in so much pain. Even though it is filled with the Holy Spirit and surrounded by God's love, it is still crying. And it feels tired. There are days when I am physically awake and have tonnes of energy and yet I hit a point while I'm working when I get exhausted and I know it's because my soul is trying to recover from the past and trying to support me in the present. I know that my soul is not dead and my body is not dying. At times my body is just weak and i know that sometimes its because of not eating. Which never goes very long because I have so many friends who invite me to join them for coffee break & goodies, lunch, dinner, etc. Or I make myself eat to try and respond to a feeling, not hunger but sometimes if I'm stressed than I'll say to myself that I deserve a latte or a donut or ice cream. Even though I know that those aren't good things to eat. But at least it's something. I never feel hungry and then on days like today when my stomach is upset, I can't imagine ever wanting to eat.