i hate being sick

I had been feeling healthy for some time now, until this past weekend. Ever since I spent a couple of hours packing on Saturday I've been sick. Today I didn't leave the house. I slept most of the day and watched some tv. I'm completely stuffed up but I can't take a decongestant because of my medication. So all I've been able to take is asprin and anti-histamines. Earlier in the day I was freezing, so i went back to bed wearing yoga pants and a hoddie and slept for 2 hours with a thick duvet on top of me. And I almost fainted twice today, didn't but felt it coming on. I haven't been like that in a very long time. I hate being sick. And I made sure that I had plenty to drink and ate some food through out the day.

I was so tired from packing. I think it has worn me down to the point of being sick. It's so hard to go through all of my stuff and decide what to keep and what to get rid of. The memories are hard to have go through my mind every time I pick something up. I found a picture of mom and I that I had misplaced over a year ago. It was underneath a bunch of stuff on my bedroom floor. I have treasured that photo since I was little and yet I treated it like crap. The blue dress I wore to her service still hangs in my closet. I can't just give it away. And then there are so many things that I don't really need, like random decorative supplies that I had for camp. I don't need those now, so why did I hold onto them?

I feel like I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know how to move. This is really hard. Dad isn't helping at all. He laughs at me and complains but doesn't actually help.

I have so much work to do this week, now is not a good time to be ill.