What I Learned At Camp
This past week at camp I learned that...
Forcing myself to eat what everyone else is eating just for the sake of trying to encourage other people to eat, does not actually help me any. All it means is that I'm eating for other people, not for nourishing my body. I didn't even like the food, it didn't taste good, I wasn't hungry and it made me gain weight. There was no possible way for me to get the food out of me other than slowly digesting it (which I don't think really works all that well).
I am more fit and have more energy to play games like handball and kickball but I'm not very good at these because when I was in school I couldn't keep up with the other kids so I never learned the skills to play these games well. Like kicking a ball in the right direction or aiming the ball to the net.
Most people have personal issues with food, when a conflict camp up over what one of the girls from my cabin was eating at meals, it really wasn't about my stuff, it was hers. I spent a few hours feeling bad that I reacted to her not eating because I didn't want any of the girls to fall into the trap that I find myself in most of the time. But later came to realise that it was her own issue around not having control over a lot of stuff, especially things at camp that had surfaced at that meal time.
Since coming home from camp 2 days ago I have managed to lose 2 pounds, praise the Lord! It just goes to show that I was eating like shit at camp and I was eating way more than I normally do. I start bootcamp again tomorow night and I hope that I continue toget fit.
Sleep is very important. So is being honest with the nurse about how I'm really feeling. She was really supportive and it felt like she understood where I was coming from. Of course every once and a while she would talk about support groups she leads with clients at work, mental health in Mission. I knew that it was her way of giving me information. And she was trying to encourage me to connect with the adult mental health in abbotsford for support for people with eating disorders. I'm not sure about that.
I can always pray for others, especially when they don't think that they can pray for themselves. I know that they will come back to God, they just don't know why the obstacles they are faced with are in their lives and don't understand why God would watch them go through those. I relate to that confusion. I still feel that way sometimes but I've come to know that God is with me in the obstacles and is not going to let me drown, but will make sure that I will get through it even if there are friends and people who don't think I can. God will not stop believing in me. God will get me through the challenges that I face and will help me overcome the eating disorder demon.
I've made such an impact on the lives of campers in the past that they think about me during the year, that they are disappointed when they find out they are not in my cabin, and when they can't wait to tell me what they did based on advice that I gave them the year before. I feel guilty because they don't really know what I face, they don't know the real me necessarily.
People at camp are part of my family, most just for the week, but some are part of my permanent extended family. They know more about what I'm really about than my Dad will ever comprehend. And they are supportive. Silently at times and as loud obnoxious cheerleaders at other times.
Forcing myself to eat what everyone else is eating just for the sake of trying to encourage other people to eat, does not actually help me any. All it means is that I'm eating for other people, not for nourishing my body. I didn't even like the food, it didn't taste good, I wasn't hungry and it made me gain weight. There was no possible way for me to get the food out of me other than slowly digesting it (which I don't think really works all that well).
I am more fit and have more energy to play games like handball and kickball but I'm not very good at these because when I was in school I couldn't keep up with the other kids so I never learned the skills to play these games well. Like kicking a ball in the right direction or aiming the ball to the net.
Most people have personal issues with food, when a conflict camp up over what one of the girls from my cabin was eating at meals, it really wasn't about my stuff, it was hers. I spent a few hours feeling bad that I reacted to her not eating because I didn't want any of the girls to fall into the trap that I find myself in most of the time. But later came to realise that it was her own issue around not having control over a lot of stuff, especially things at camp that had surfaced at that meal time.
Since coming home from camp 2 days ago I have managed to lose 2 pounds, praise the Lord! It just goes to show that I was eating like shit at camp and I was eating way more than I normally do. I start bootcamp again tomorow night and I hope that I continue toget fit.
Sleep is very important. So is being honest with the nurse about how I'm really feeling. She was really supportive and it felt like she understood where I was coming from. Of course every once and a while she would talk about support groups she leads with clients at work, mental health in Mission. I knew that it was her way of giving me information. And she was trying to encourage me to connect with the adult mental health in abbotsford for support for people with eating disorders. I'm not sure about that.
I can always pray for others, especially when they don't think that they can pray for themselves. I know that they will come back to God, they just don't know why the obstacles they are faced with are in their lives and don't understand why God would watch them go through those. I relate to that confusion. I still feel that way sometimes but I've come to know that God is with me in the obstacles and is not going to let me drown, but will make sure that I will get through it even if there are friends and people who don't think I can. God will not stop believing in me. God will get me through the challenges that I face and will help me overcome the eating disorder demon.
I've made such an impact on the lives of campers in the past that they think about me during the year, that they are disappointed when they find out they are not in my cabin, and when they can't wait to tell me what they did based on advice that I gave them the year before. I feel guilty because they don't really know what I face, they don't know the real me necessarily.
People at camp are part of my family, most just for the week, but some are part of my permanent extended family. They know more about what I'm really about than my Dad will ever comprehend. And they are supportive. Silently at times and as loud obnoxious cheerleaders at other times.
posted by Womyn in Troubled Waters at 12:40 AM
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