My Dad is making me sink
My dad does not want me to have any independence. He got pissed off when I told him I had a pre-approved mortgage, saying that I would be stupid to go for that much and that "you know, you have to make the payments every month". Thanks for the vote of confidence, Dad. Fuck that. I feel so dumb and worthless. I thought if anything he should appreciate all of the saving that I've done over the years to be able to have an awesome down payment. After all he was a loans officer for the bank for 36 years.
He doesn't want me to move out. He doesn't even like the idea of me house sitting for a month in White Rock. He was shocked to hear I would be staying here for that long. Even though I still have to stop by the house once in a while. I'm working at my job out there still 2-3 days a week. And today I had to do laundry and pack. He bought muffins at the store and suggested that I take some with me. I told him I would have another when I stop by tomorow. What the hell? He's trying to make me stay and need him by buying me "treats". He has no idea what I feel like when I pig out on food and what it causes me to do.
Apparently he was talking about down-sizing to a smaller house or a town house. And in his mind I would be moving with him. My sister pointed out to him that I'm 26 and that I can live on my own. As if he hasn't kept me long enough in that unchanging house. No wonder it freaks me out so much to think about moving out. He doesn't want me to and he's let me know that my whole life.
Other people have said that this is awesome for me. And that I'm not stupid for wanting to move out. How can I tell who is telling the truth? How do I know if my dad, who has always been around me, who supposedly knows me, is lying? Fuck this is confusing.
Maybe I can't move out. Maybe he's right. Maybe I am stupid for thinking that I can manage on my own. I doubt I can actually go through with moving and buying a condo for myself.
He doesn't want me to move out. He doesn't even like the idea of me house sitting for a month in White Rock. He was shocked to hear I would be staying here for that long. Even though I still have to stop by the house once in a while. I'm working at my job out there still 2-3 days a week. And today I had to do laundry and pack. He bought muffins at the store and suggested that I take some with me. I told him I would have another when I stop by tomorow. What the hell? He's trying to make me stay and need him by buying me "treats". He has no idea what I feel like when I pig out on food and what it causes me to do.
Apparently he was talking about down-sizing to a smaller house or a town house. And in his mind I would be moving with him. My sister pointed out to him that I'm 26 and that I can live on my own. As if he hasn't kept me long enough in that unchanging house. No wonder it freaks me out so much to think about moving out. He doesn't want me to and he's let me know that my whole life.
Other people have said that this is awesome for me. And that I'm not stupid for wanting to move out. How can I tell who is telling the truth? How do I know if my dad, who has always been around me, who supposedly knows me, is lying? Fuck this is confusing.
Maybe I can't move out. Maybe he's right. Maybe I am stupid for thinking that I can manage on my own. I doubt I can actually go through with moving and buying a condo for myself.
posted by Womyn in Troubled Waters at 11:31 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home